We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I understand Curling. That high.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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