don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
