6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
