I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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