weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
