And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize