is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
