We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
