well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize