dude i'm inner monologue high
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
