It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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