I wanna passion pit in your ass
there's paper in my vomit.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
that's an acceptable place to lick
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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