So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
