They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Every concussion has its silver lining
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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