guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
