White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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