I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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