yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
