I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
