Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just gift wrapped bread.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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