East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
