I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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