Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How naked do you want me to be?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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