he shaved USA in his pubs
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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