moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
