Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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