I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
