Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
