party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
