I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
