The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My life is pants optional.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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