Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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