So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
