I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Sext me about skeletons
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
