is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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