Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
