i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
