That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
