WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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