Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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