she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm really busy with my period
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