You made me cry and you don't even care
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
