It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
