Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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