a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
