Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it hurts more in the daytime
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
