If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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