Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
