do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
