at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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