Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
