real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
