Heybabeimwearingurpanties
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
