So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
