evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
