i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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