Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Two words: nipple clamps
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