I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
