she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
