Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
